How can mentally harassed husband get rid from his wife

I was married 7 years before. After some time my married my wife started harassing me to do what she wants, otherwise threatened that she will file dowry /harassment etc. I was totally under her control. But know life has become very tough. Even she many times tried for kill herself. I have one daughter also. But this time I it not possible for me to live like that. Even many times I also tried to kill myself, but I know that this is not my solution. Please advise me how soon I can get rid of it.

Hi,
It is indeed tough and almost impossible to live with such a life partner. The more you tried to adjust with her, the more she started to dominate you. When a relationship becomes a tight bond around the neck, it is better to loosen it.

After going through your case, the only alternative you are left it is to get a divorce from her. But, by whatever I understand about her personality, she would not leave you so easily, so here are a few tips before legally filling for the divorce:

1. Make a recording of all the statements she says to you about killing herself. You can make use of spy cameras for this which are easily available in electronic shopp these days.

2. You may clear up all the bank statements and property claims so that she may not falsely claim that to be hers given by her father in dowry.

3. If she is abusive, record that too.

4. You may meet all the doctors and hospital authorities where she was admitted when she tried a suicide attempt and collect all the proofs of your innocence in advance.

5. As soon as you file the divorce case, move away from her even if that means leaving your home to her. You may get it legally later after the court hearing.

6. Decide beforehand what you can efford to give her as ransom so that it may not trouble you later.

7. Be clear about your relations with other people especially female friends, so that she may not use it against you.

8. Approach the best divorce lawyer and get his advice on how to proceed further.

9. The day you move away, first of all sit with her and talk to her about everything you feel about her behavior and attitude. She should be given a last chance. don’t hold back anything and do not shout, just talk to her of what you feel. If talking is not possible, write a long letter to her making her understand the reason behind you action. This is important as any step taken in life with vehement and bitterness can lead to a lot of disappointment later in life.

Do not wait as more delay would mean more torture for you and your daughter. Remember she is also a human being and ‘to err is human’, be sympathetic but firm towards her.

Best wishes.

Author: zktest    13 Nov 2013      Member Level: Silver     Points : 3  (Rs 1)    Voting Score: 0
I would suggest you to use REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY for this as it favors best for it. Instead of getting rid of her try to get close to her. You can do the following
1. Buy her things which she is more interested in
2. Take her out to shopping every weekend
3. Go on a tour with your daughter
4. Often visit her relatives whom she wishes to visit the most often.
5. Speak to her about your daughter and how you people are gonna settle her, I mean future planning for her
6. Tell her or fake to her that you love her the most

But be careful please secure all your important things such as bank accounts and property papers I would suggest you to keep them at the bank locker and do not show how much money you are earning. Keep financial statements out of her sight

Thanks

Author: Chaitali Ray Chaudhuri (Datta)    16 Nov 2013      Member Level: Gold     Points : 3  (Rs 2)    Voting Score: 0
It is indeed a tough situation for anybody. But suicide is not the way to solve anything at any cost. So you should strengthen your nerves. Few people are dominating irrespective of their gender. They cannot compromise at any condition and try to control everything as per their direction. And as you said above, it is seemed that your wife is also of this type of character. There are many examples of divorce cases related to this type of character. As you have experience of seven years of married life, it should not be suggested to ask your partner what she wants. Hope you have tried all those already. There are many cases are same as you said, it has been detected by the doctor that one of the couple is a psychological patient.
Accordingly you are suggested to consult to an expert psychologist first. Try as he suggests. If your problem persists, definitely consult to a civil lawyer who is expert to handle divorce cases. But remember never expose to her that you are taking help of a lawyer. Follow your lawyer’s instruction to get rid from this serious problem.
Hope rest of your life become joyful.
Author: beena    25 Nov 2013      Member Level: Silver     Points : 5  (Rs 5)    Voting Score: 0
Hi,

I will suggest you, first of all you should try to find out the reason for such behaviour..if she is behaving like that there must be some reason ask her what she wants to do it is possible that she may give you some clues and after getting clues just try to find out the solutions, discuss with her only to remove differences between both of you, because the fight between both of will ultimately affect your kids career and mental condition.

So rather than breaking the Knot try to tie it for your kid.

Second option if after making all the efforts you won’t succeed then you can appoint one good advocate for divorce, and definitely there must be some way to work out with all this issues.

and suppose if you want to go for Divorce then you have to do it with cautions because than question will be arise that who will take care of Kid from both of you.

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